Other People's Kids

I recently visited My. M. Spot, where Cena had a poll about disciplining other people's children. It got me thinking of some funny times I've disciplined the children of strangers. My friends and family find it very funny to watch, although they move away and pretend they don't know me. I have absolutely NO PROBLEM setting some of these kids straight, and I am pretty good at it, too.

My friend Mary loves to tell the story of the year we went to the movies on Mother's Day. We figured everyone would be with their mothers and we'd have the theater to ourselves. WRONG! It was full of dads with kids, probably giving mom a day of rest. You know how that goes. They let them eat too much crap, don't make them use the bathroom before the movie and it's up and down through the whole thing. We specifically picked a movie that wasn't really for kids, although it was not inappropriate, it just wouldn't interest them. So these kids have 2 strikes against them already, a movie they probably don't want to see or don't understand, and a dad who is letting them make themselves sick. I don't care. I paid good money and I'm not having my experience ruined, darn it!
About 20 minutes into the film it starts right behind us. Dad and 4 kids, ages about 11 and under. Look like a bunch of scruffy ragamuffins. We saw it coming. Spilled popcorn, get me more. I have to use the bathroom. All at full voice. No one knows the indoor voice or the 12 inch voice. Dad is up and down with these kids constantly, and he's just as bad as they are, kicking into the backs of our seats and using his own full voice to tell them to be quiet.

I can't take it. The third time he smacks my seat, I turn around, "I'm sorry, is my seat disturbing you?" "Sorry," Dad mumbles, slamming himself back down. He gets up about a 1/2 hour later to take 2 kids to the bathroom, and is much quieter. The two left behind are the eldest, a girl, and a little one, about 4. The little one, who is sitting farthest from the dad, immediately starts, "Where did they go? Where's daddy? When's he coming back?" I give her some credit, she was trying to whisper. The charmingly caring older sister keeps loudly responding, "None of your business. I'm not telling you," and other standard older-sister replies. Mary, sitting next to me, keeps turning just her eyes to look at me. She knows I'm going to blow soon. And then it happens...

The little kid starts crying and getting louder, and the big sister gets louder telling her to shut up. Staying seated, I turn almost my entire body around and do the intense teacher/parent stare at the little kid. I stick out my left arm and do the teacher snap to get her attention. "Your dad took the other 2 to the bathroom. He'll be right back. You can stop crying." I try to say this nicely, while being firm. It does shut her up, though, but now she looks scared of me, as do the people behind this lovely family. I don't care. Mary's body is shaking from laughing. Now I go in for the kill, the big sister. I turn my head further to the left, and give her the double-snap. "What's your problem? You couldn't just answer her? You had to disrupt every one's movie? I'd sit and shut up if I were you, or your dad is going to hear about how you made your sister cry." pause "Do you understand me?" She shakes her head and now they're both quiet.

Dad comes back, totally oblivious, and the rest of the movie is fine. If he had prepared his kids properly for the film, I wouldn't have needed to speak to them.

People who are in charge of children, whether parents, nannies, or teachers and aunties like me, need to set expectations with children. When I take my students on a field trip, I go over the positive behaviors expected, and mention a few negatives that I don't want to see. I do the same thing with my nephews and niece. By focusing on the positive behaviors, they know what to do. Telling them what NOT to do doesn't give them a solution. "Don't kick the seat in front of you in the theater," should really be "Keep your feet in your own seat or dangling." We always have a good time, and my students are usually complimented on their behavior. I can laugh with them and enjoy whatever program we are experiencing and everyone has a good time. Of course there is always someone who does something foolish, maybe dangerous (One time a student scaled 10 feet of the outer limestone wall of an office building as we were waiting to enter Symphony Hall!), and then discipline is necessary, but advance preparation in manners and over all behavior for a certain venue always helps and the adult usually doesn't have to get in any one's face. Of course this doesn't stop a melt down from an overtired or hungry child, but it sure helps with the foolishness!
Have you ever dealt with strangers' children or others when necessary? What do you do with the children you are in charge of in public if they act up?