Attitude is Everything

Attitude is almost everything, in all areas of life! I hear this from doctors, lab technicians, even the check-in people at the front desk. I know that I have a good attitude, I just didn't know it was unusual. I keep asking, "Am I sicker than I realize? Should I be upset?" "No, your attitude is great! That's what keeps you going," is always the answer. I guess I have what comes across as a positive attitude because I actually have what some would consider a pessimistic attitude!
I'm sorry to burst some people's bubble, but everyone is going to "get" something. Whether it's cancer, congestive heart failure, HIV, lupus, ALS, or anything else, you're going to have to deal with a long-term health condition at some point, either your own or that of a close family member. And "Deal With It" is what I mean! Suck it up! Play the hand life gives you! Get the job done, and do it right! This is the way I was raised, not in a military or harsh way, just that whining or shutting down serve no purpose. It's also why my sister and I are good in a crisis such as a car accident, or sudden death of a friend/family member. We figure out what has to be done and take care of it, whether it's calling 911, organizing a wake, or pulling together photos for a memory board.
I go to the hospital for weekly check-ins with my oncologist. (Isn't he a cutie?! He's very nice, but very strict!) Because Dana-Farber is so huge, the waiting room I go to takes up about a quarter of the first floor, and there are all sorts of people here: rich, poor, young, old, celebrities, immigrants, people who have come to Boston from around the world just for treatments at this hospital. Some come with a family member or friend, others have what I call a full entourage, and there are a few people like me, who usually come in alone. The people who come in alone usually have a book or magazine, a drink & snack, and know right what to do: check in & get your bracelet, go to phlebotomy and get your blood drawn, wait to be called when your exam room is ready. Patients with a large entourage are usually newly diagnosed or having what I call a BIG appointment, going over tests, something like that. The people with 1 person are usually either in a wheel chair, so they need physical assistance; or don't do anything for themselves, even if they are able. These are the patients that seem to be the opposite of me.
The friend does the check-in, tells them where to go, carries all the bags, etc., even if this is a regular patient who should know all this. These are often, but not always, the whiners. They feel sorry for themselves because they are sick. They are waiting for the doctors to "make" them better, and their family needs to do everything until they are better. They don't see themselves as living with cancer, rather as being sick. The family members usually look anxious, are constantly trying to please and getting snapped at, and in general look worn out. What is the purpose of making your caregiver sick and miserable? Are they better able to help the patient? Of course not, it just makes the patient feel in control of something.
Well, get in control of your own treatment, darn it! Do your own desk check-in, clean up your own vomit, when needed, do anything for yourself for which you are physically able! At some point you will actually need another person to do these things and you'll have worn them out or chased them away.
For patients having trouble staying positive there are support groups as well as individual counseling that many insurance plans will cover. For caregivers there are also support networks and assistance groups that can fill in to take patients to appointments, give the caregiver some personal time, run errands, etc. Personally, I pay people to do the regular things I am unable to do, such as cleaning, household maintenance, laundry, and grocery shopping, so that I am not wearing out my family and friends. I am fortunate that I am able to afford to do this. Then I can ask for help from family and friends on other things that come up.

That's really all I have to say on the topic of attitude. Now here's our week's wrap-up!

This is the last of the posts for my Bone Marrow Birthday Giveaway. I hope you've learned a little something this week, and become more aware of the ease of becoming a bone marrow donor. I really believe that the more people talk about cancer, or any other scary, potentially fatal disease, the more informed we become and the more comfortable we are with facing it ourselves. De-bunking the myths and knowing about current methods of detection and treatment are also important.
The Top Three Things I hope you learned from reading my personal stories are:
1) Do self-exams! Not just the monthly breast exam, but all of your body. When you are in the shower press along any soft tissue, thighs, neck, groin. This way you'll know your body and notice changes.
2) Don't be a dumb @$$ like me and wait to go to the doctor! I waited 6 months after first finding a lump in my neck, just because I didn't want to be told it was a big hunk of fat and I needed to lose weight.
3) Registering to become a bone marrow donor is a quick and easy procedure. Just a cheek swab!
NOW for the GIVEAWAY question of the day... You MUST answer the question in the Comments for THIS POST to be eligible. You also must have a way for me to contact you when you win. You do not have to have a blog to enter, and you can be from anywhere in the world!

What is the name of my oncologist?